


There Are Flowers in My Hair and Stars in Your Eyes

by sunshinne_skz



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Bad Boy Han Jisung | Han, Bang Chan & Lee Felix are Siblings, Bisexual Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Chan adopts Hyunjin I dont make the rules, Cute Yang Jeongin | I.N, Emotional Manipulation, Hurt/Comfort, Hwang Hyunjin is a Mess, Hwang Hyunjin-centric, Hyunjin loves nature so much, Hyunjins dad is an asshole, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jeongin likes to paint his nails, Kim Seungmin & Lee Felix are Best Friends, M/M, Partying, Seungmin travels a lot, So does Seungmin and Minho, Soft Seo Changbin, Tags May Change, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, except for minchan, overuse of the indie aesthetic, so many feels, they re in highschool, toxic friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:42:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26949919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinne_skz/pseuds/sunshinne_skz
Summary: Hyunjin always loved with all his heart.Too bad he never got anything back.That is, until he met seven boys who seemed to bring purpose to his life.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han/Seo Changbin, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin, Lee Felix/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Comments: 19
Kudos: 56





	1. Chapter One

“I am lovable, right?” the boy asked, turning on his side and resting his chin on top of his palm as he stared at the small flowers next to him. Even though they just kept swaying in the warm breeze, he felt comforted by their presence.

“I wish I had someone to bring here, you know?” he sighed, letting himself fall on his back, eyes closed. “I`d introduce them to you, of course.” he giggled, enjoying how the sunlight never stopped caressing his skin.

It was quiet, but it was never silent. That`s what Hyunjin adored about this place- about nature in general. He stopped talking, just so he could listen to the birds that were singing, to the twinkling of water from the little stream close by. All those sounds warmed his heart, serving as a reminder that he was not alone, despite never feeling like he belonged with the different friend groups he had joined.

Now, truth be told, it wasn`t like he was some kind of an outsider or anything of the sorts. He fit in just right and he was well liked, his friends cared about him and they had a lot of fun whenever they got together. He couldn`t really say he felt alone, but he felt lonely most of the time. However, Hyunjin knew the others were not to blame for that, it was his own way of seeing the world.

It was how every time they took a stroll through the forest, he got lost in his own imagination, feeling more alive than he ever did between the high buildings. His friends, though, they didn`t share his love for the beautiful trees and the adorable little frogs stumbling on the dirt path from time to time. They were content with running around and screaming, shoving each other as they joked and finished beer after beer.

That was how he should`ve been spending this Friday too, but he bailed out at the last moment. Sucks of him, yeah, he felt a bit guilty but he needed this. He needed this a whole lot after the week he had- it was simply the worst. He had to take five tests, two being on the same day, then he lost one of his crystal necklaces in some abandoned building his friends wanted to explore (that part was pretty cool though), he got stuck on the choreography he was making, he pulled two all nighters and on top of all that, his dad got even worse at handling his anger. So yeah, he deserved a break.

This place has always been precious to him, from the moment he discovered it three years ago. Here, he could be himself. He could cry and he could laugh and smile and run with the wind and through the clear water of the stream without having to worry about anything. 

Hyunjin rolled his eyes as he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket- this was exactly why he usually doesn`t bring it along. He took it out, sighing as he saw his dad`s number on the screen. Should he even answer? He was in such a good mood, he didn`t want it to be ruined. With that in mind, he turned the phone off, placing it back the pocket of his jeans before he stood up, not bothering to fix his wrinkled clothes. 

The sun was starting to set, making the boy realise just how much time he had spent laying in the grass. With a smile on his lips, he said goodbye to the flowers, breaking into a sprint up the hill as the sky changed colors all around him.

“I`m here,” he said loudly, looking at all the trees that surrounded the clearing. He felt on top of the world, no strings attached, no expectations- just himself. “I`m here.” Hyunjin whispered, a soft smile plastered on his face as he took everything in. 

The first tears that rolled down his cheeks took him by surprise, making him giggle as he tried to wipe them away. He soon gave up since even more followed, until he was full on crying- the smile never left his lips though, and his eyes never lost their sparkle. Now, the sun was almost gone, the sky turning darker as it covered the ground in pastel colors. It was time to head home, but he really didn`t want to, so he started down the hill instead. 

There, right by the entrance of the forest, was an old, abandoned car. Hyunjin had found it only a few days after discovering the place, and it seemed as if it hadn`t been touched in years, the dust setting in, the grass and plants already covering a big part of it. The boy, of course, decided to at least give it a purpose- so, he cleaned the inside of the car, opened the trunk and placed fluffy blankets and pillows inside, saving one of each for the back seat and finally, he hanged some fairy lights all around the car. It was beautiful, his own little home. 

He missed sleeping here, he hadn`t done that in a while, his new friends loving to spend their summer nights getting wasted. Honestly, Hyunjin didn`t mind much, especially at festivals where he could smoke some weed to calm his nerves, dance with hundreds of strangers and forget about everything else.

There was one thing he was never able to forget about, no matter how much he danced, no matter how intoxicated he got- he was always at the back of his mind. A boy, a little bit shorter than him with messy light brown hair and the deepest brown eyes he had ever stared into. Hyunjin only saw him once, when he was already high and moving to the rhythm of the music, barefoot in the sand as the waves crashed softly against the shore. But, once proved to be more than enough because every time Hyunjin walked in a crowd, he found himself searching for the soft smile he missed so much. Call him stupid for getting so caught up in this, but that boy was the only one who made him feel like running through the grass at sunrise did.

“Hey, Bernie,” Hyunjin voiced out into the night. “Do you believe in soulmates?” He asked, listening to the crickets as the car, of course, had no means of answering him. “Hm, yeah, I don`t think it`s that either. Sounds more like a twin flame to me.” He continued anyway, unbothered by the one sided conversation. 

Hyunjin turned on his side, getting more comfortable, hugging one of the pillows to his chest. “I know, I know,” he sighed. “I shouldn`t obsess over this so much, but Bernie, I can feel it! There was some kind of connection and I don`t want to lose that- that feeling forever” He said, convinced that he would never experience anything as beautiful as dancing with the bright eyed stranger.

“Yeah… I guess I should go to sleep.” Hyunjin whispered against his light blue pillow -just like the stranger`s shirt-, as he took a deep breath to calm his love sick heart. “Good night, Bernie. Good night, world” He said, happiness blossoming in his chest as the crickets almost seemed to change their melody in form of a reply to the boy.

The sun rays sneaking through the windows managed to wake him up pretty early, fact for which he was grateful. His phone has stayed turned off the whole time, his dad was probably worried about him. He`ll have to call him, let him know he was okay, act like his well being actually mattered. Then, he`ll be free to do whatever, or, whatever his friends had planned in his absence.

Hyunjin got out of the car slowly, wanting to hold onto this peace of mind for at least a tad bit longer. He always hated himself for this, for running away from his fears and problems, it made it harder to return because there was no way he could escape them. He was just fooling himself, tasting freedom only to have it thrown behind bars later. Even like that… he didn`t regret it, not even once. This back and forth was the thing keeping him going.

With a deep sigh, he stood up and stretched, dusting off his clothes and trying to tame his light blond hair. Once he thought he managed to make himself look decent, he started on the long walk home. He waved at the fragile flowers and at the tall trees, he said bye to Bernie and the pure white butterfly that decided to rest on his nose at some point.

As soon as he made it back in town, he could already feel longing tugging at his heart. He pushed it down as he took step after step down the almost deserted streets. It was still early, so the only people who were out had nothing to do with him, except for the occasional teenager who was returning home from whatever party there had been. Hyunjin wasn`t really upset that he had missed something like that, maybe just a little curious, but not upset. 

His thoughts did a good job at distracting him, since before he knew it, he was already in front of his house. Only then did it hit him- he forgot to call his dad. He groaned, face palming at his own stupidity before finally gathering enough courage to take his keys out and unlock the door, making no sound as he slipped inside.  
“Do you think you can just come home whenever you feel like it?”

Hyunjin winced, turning around to face his dad. He looked angry and tired and all of that because Hyunjin had been a big enough idiot to forget to at least explain why he won`t be home. 

“I`m sorry, I forgot to text you last night.’ He offered, knowing it barely did anything to help his case.

“You didn`t forget, you just didn`t bother.”

Okay, so maybe that was true, but he couldn`t just agree to that. He had his reasons, even if he had been wrong, he still knew exactly why he didn`t want to hear from his father for at least one day. It was the calmest day of his life, he couldn`t say he regretted the way he spent it, he just felt guilty for leaving his dad in the dark like that.

“I`m sorry.” 

The man laughed, expression turning dark as he stared at his son. “You`re not, don`t you dare lie to my face!” He yelled, slamming his fist down on the coffee table, making Hyunjin flinch back harshly.

“What do you want me to say then? I was out, I messed up, I know.” The boy spoke up, trying to be reasonable. He knew his efforts were in vain, though, but that never stopped him from trying. 

“Drop the attitude.” The man spat, standing up with a quick motion that had Hyunjin cowering in fear. “Do you even care about me? You never spend any time with me, I have to pull the words out of your mouth if I want us to talk. What the hell did I do so wrong for you to treat me this way?” He snapped, gesturing wildly with his hands as the young boy followed his every move. 

“Every time I try to explain how I feel, you end up mocking me.” Hyunjin explained, feeling a fire light up inside his chest. He didn`t like to be accused blindly.

“So I`m the problem, huh? Good thing you`re perfect, right? I could complain about so many things you do wrong but I don`t, because I understand what unconditional love means. You like to point fingers, but kid let me tell you, it`s not my fault you are the way you are. I`ve always tried my best, what did you do to repay me?” His dad rambled, walking closer and closer until he was right up in Hyunjin`s face. 

“I need to repay you for trying to be decent?” He should`ve expected the stinging in his left cheek to come, but he didn`t and it still made tears gather in his eyes. “I never said I was perfect. But I thought I was enough for you to love me.” He added, the last few words coming out in a sob.  
Hyunjin was hugging himself tightly, trying to hide the shaking of his hands, leaving bruises on his skin from the vice grip of his fingers. His heart was pounding against his chest, but he never looked away from his dad- he won`t let him win this one too.

“You`re pathetic.” His father chuckled. “No one will ever love you like family does. Everyone else leaves after a while, blood is the only one you can bet your life on.” 

“But you don`t love me.” Hyunjin whimpered, curling in on himself even further. 

That seemed to be the breaking point for his father as the man started to yell, louder than he did in a while, spit flying from his mouth. He was cursing the boy out, accusing him of being ungrateful, of not giving a damn about everything that has been done for him, of being selfish, of being unable to love his own father. Hyunjin just stood there, taking it all in, wishing he was anywhere but in that apartment, listening to anyone but the man in front of him.

After a while, it seemed like his dad got bored of talking without being answered, rolling his eyes at the way his son shook with repressed sobs. The man turned away and left, grabbing the car keys and slamming the door behind him.

That`s when Hyunjin let himself cry.


	2. Chapter Two

The loud music made his head hurt, yet he wasn`t about to complain about that. It was a good distraction, all things considered. He had no idea where his friends had run off to, or what time it was, or how many drinks he had but it honestly didn`t bother him. He didn`t care.

Hyunjin was happy now. So he didn`t care.

He swayed his body to the rhythm of the music, closing his eyes and throwing his arms into the air, humming the melody softly as he let his intoxicated mind enjoy every second. Yes, he would`ve liked it more if this was a festival rather than a party, outside on a beach instead of inside a dirty club- but he figured he shall take what he`s given and make the most of it.

However, as hours blended into each other and familiar strangers no longer surrounded him, he realized it might be time to leave this night behind. With that in mind, he stepped away from the dance floor, looking around for his friends. He sighed as there was no sight of them, wondering if they`ve forgotten about him or were still here somewhere. Not like it mattered much, but it would hurt less if they at least remembered Hyunjin was there too.

After a few minutes of searching around the place and bumping into people, the boy came to the conclusion that yeah, he was alone. His heart started to beat faster as he tried to make himself look smaller, get lost into the shadows and the colorful lights. He managed to do just that, stumbling through the backdoor of the club. He always hated being on his own in public, though he didn`t really know why, it just made him really nervous so he avoided it the best he could. Now, he couldn`t, because his friends should`ve been there. But they were not.

It was still dark outside, so Hyunjin took out his phone to check the time.

4:25am

Great, another wasted night to add to the collection.

Honestly he had no idea why he was complaining, it wasn`t like anyone forced him to do anything. He knew what he was getting himself into every time and he still agreed so really, it was his own fault. But, Hyunjin had no idea what else to do. Like, what else was there to do? He kept hoping that yeah, this time will be different, this time will make him regret all the moments when he got frustrated with his friends. But no, it was never different. Just the same old, over and over. It made him feel stuck and he didn`t like feeling stuck, it made him realize how much he seemed to be alive during a life he never wished for.

That`s why, just half an hour later, he was on a bus to the other side of the city. Once there, the walk to the beach won`t take too long- not that Hyunjin minded, there were never many people so it felt like he was on some kind of adventure only he knew about. It gave him main character vibes and who was he to say he didn`t simply adore the fact?

The boy let his head rest against the window, staring at the deserted streets as exhaustion began to seep into his bones. He couldn`t remember the last time he felt well rested, but he was used to it. He didn`t want to sleep right now anyway- sleeping meant not being awake and not being awake meant missing out and he can`t miss out. The only time he liked sleeping was when he was under starry skies.

He thanked the bus driver as he stepped out, a smile playing on his lips as he saw the sun start to rise, urging the darkness away. His head was hurting from the alcohol, but it seemed to fade as excitement took a tight grip of his heart. Hyunjin started his journey, giggling when a single car passed by him and the man behind the wheel waved at him with a smile- of course he waved right back, feeling his heart warm up. He loved those kinds of interactions with strangers, it was like filling a void, getting some sort of attention, affection even, if the adorable old woman with the cats who lived a few minutes away from him had a say in this.

As soon as he made it to the beach, he took his shoes off, followed by his socks. He smiled as he felt the sand under his feet and between his toes- it made him feel that bit more connected to the world. The sun was up already, yet it still painted the sky in beautiful hues of pink, yellow and orange. It looked magical.

Well. Almost.

The whole picture was shattered by sudden yelling, Hyunjin flinching as he took notice of the three figures that were running around, splashing water everywhere as they were ankle deep into the sea. He was a bit confused- how come he haven`t noticed them? It wasn`t like they were being quiet. He shook his head, making a mental note to start paying more attention from now on.

As he watched the three strangers laugh and look like they were having the time of their lives, he couldn`t keep the smile away from his face. It was a lovely sight, one he always dreamed to experience, but he was grateful for at least getting to see it. He started to walk, thinking there would`ve been no point to coming here if he wasn`t going to at least get into the water for a bit. He will simply keep his distance and pretend it was just him, the sea and the pastel colored sky.

Hyunjin had no such luck, it seemed.

“Hey there!” One of them called, making Hyunjin wince at the thought of having to socialize after a whole night of partying. He turned around anyway, not wanting to be rude to the kind stranger who noticed him enough to say hi.

Whatever answer he was about to give remained stuck on the tip of his tongue as his eyes drifted to one of the three boys who were watching him with warm smiles, although a bit awkward- except for the one who greeted Hyunjin- he was beaming, no hesitation on his face. But still, he wasn`t the reason why he found himself unable to utter a simple “hello”.

There, mere feet away from him, was the beautiful stranger he fell in love with last summer.

His hair was no longer brown, it was some kind of grey with hues of lavender and his shirt wasn`t blue, it was purple and it made him look so _soft_.

“You`re so pretty.” Hyunjin said out of nowhere as he stared at the boy, before catching on to the fact that he actually talked out loud instead of inside his own head, and his eyes widened. However, he didn`t have the time to say anything else because the other laughed and shook his head.

“Thank you, it`s okay.” He said with a smile, eyes glistening in the light.

Hyunjin nodded his head, flustered to no end. He got the chance to see him again and what did he do? Acted like an idiot, good going.

“I`m Seungmin,” he said, and his voice sounded so full of understanding, as if he could hear Hyunjin overthinking. “It`s nice to meet you.”

Oh.

_Oh._

So he doesn`t remember him.

Not that Hyunjin expected him to, it`s been quite a while and they only interacted for one night. Even like that, he couldn`t stop his smile from faltering the slightest bit- the one he loved had no idea who he was and it hurt, though he knew it shouldn`t. He was the one who got way too caught up in his own fantasies and feelings, Seungmin wasn`t at fault for being normal.

How he wished to be the same sometimes, to stop feeling everything so deeply, to fall so quick and move on so slow.

“I`m Hyunjin,” he said, glancing to Seungmin`s friends, afraid to give them the wrong impression that he was ignoring them. “Nice to meet you too.”

The boys smiled and introduced themselves as well- Felix and Jeongin were the names, Felix having been the one who couldn`t miss a chance to befriend a lonely stranger wandering the beach at sunrise. They both looked sweet, Jeongin with blue hair and yellow painted nails, covered head to toe in pastels and Felix, with light pink hair that contrasted with his all black outfit. Unlike the two of them who looked like the definition of casual, Seungmin had something different to himself. The white, almost see through, button up shirt and the light brown pants complimented his sun kissed skin and the simple shell necklace adorning his neck made Hyunjin think the boy could only belong to the sea. He had that aura of a free spirit, peaceful yet adventurous and it only made Hyunjin fall deeper.

“You`re not a big fan of the present, are you?” Seungmin chuckled as he brought Hyunjin out of his own head with ease. Upon seeing how confused he looked, however, he continued. “You daydream a lot.”

And he does. Hyunjin totally does. It`s his favorite thing to do, even though it`s not always intentional- like now, for example. But how can you _not_ when the world has so much to offer?

He nodded, looking elsewhere as he found himself unable to maintain eye contact for longer than a few seconds. “I- yeah,” Hyunjin started, wanting to run away before he created himself an even worse image, “sorry, I didn`t mean to.”

Seungmin waved his hands in front of himself. “No, it`s not a bad thing. At least I don`t think so.” He shrugged, moving to sit down on the sand, smiling up at the blond. “Whatever your heart desires, and so on.”

Hyunjin laughed. “And so on.” He said, taking a sit as well, carding his fingers through the warm sand and smiling as he let it fall back down. It looked pretty.

Felix and Jeongin joined them, although they didn`t seem as content with simply admiring the view. They liked to talk, and Hyunjin found that he didn`t mind. They had things to say and they said them, wondered out loud and jumped from subject to subject, full of energy and excitement. It was such a change from what he was used to and it gave him hope- hope that maybe one day he`ll find friends like them too.

It didn`t take long for Hyunjin to warm up to them. Not that he talked more, it was too soon for that, but he felt calm in their presence and that was good enough for him. One day, maybe, if they ever meet again, he will let loose, be himself. He doesn`t do that often, but with them, with Seungmin- who made sure he wasn`t bored, who understood the yearning for a far away future, who smiled at him and made fireworks light up inside his heart- he figured it`d be okay to come out of his shell and let the world see him for who he truly was.

“I have to be home in time for lunch, guys.” Said Felix, pouting as he knew it was time to say bye and it was obvious that no one wanted to leave just yet.

“Already?” Seungmin groaned, standing up and dusting himself off. He offered Hyunjin a hand, helping the boy to his feet as well.

“I don`t wanna leave,” Jeongin frowned, not making a move to stand. “I like it here.”

“Understandable.” Hyunjin giggled, already feeling the tug on his heart as he thought about leaving this place, about leaving them.

“C`mon,” Felix whined, pulling at Jeongin`s arm as he tried to get him to stand, while the boy fought against his grip. “We gotta go!”

“I want new friends.” Seungmin said, sighing. Then, he looked at Hyunjin, deciding to ignore his friends for the time being. “Can I have your number?”

Hyunjin felt his cheeks warm up and he looked away, cursing himself for how he was acting. Seungmin was just trying to be nice, maybe make a new friend, nothing more. He had to remind himself of the fact that no, Seungmin didn`t know who he was and no, he wasn`t about to fall in love with him on the spot. Even if he remembered Hyunjin, that still wouldn`t mean anything. So, with that in mind, he nodded. “Sure!” he said, taking Seungmin`s phone when he offered it, typing in his number and saving it as “Hyunjin =)”.

Seungmin laughed. “I like the smiley,” he said, looking up from his phone and at him. “it suits you.”

“Thanks.” Hyunjin answered with a shy smile, trying to ignore the way his heart was beating faster.

“Finally!” Felix yelled, making the two boys flinch and look at him, seeing him with his arms wrapped around Jeongin`s middle, refusing to let him go as he struggled.

“Well then,” Seungmin started, turning back to Hyunjin with a smile playing on his lips. “I`ll text you. Bye, Hyunjin.”

He said, waving as the three boys walked away, all saying goodbye. Hyunjin waved back and watched them get smaller and smaller into the distance, until he couldn`t see them anymore. He felt warm, and it wasn`t all because of the late august sun. He never knew it was possible to feel this good around someone, so safe and at peace with some almost strangers he had the luck to meet.

Deciding that he didn`t want his entire mood ruined by going home, he sat back down, staring into the infinity of the sea as he let the sound of the waves caressing the shore ease his mind.

A good day.

It was a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was chapter 2! I really hope you enjoyed it, thank you so so much for reading. And thank you for all the kudos and comments, it really warms my heart to see this story getting love. I`m sorry for taking quite long to update, school moved online again and such and i swear it`s killing my creativity. could be worse tho so im thankful we`re at least allowed outside. I`ll try to update quicker next time, tho I can`t promise that. Please leave kudos if you enjoyed it and a comment to tell me what you think~ Stay healthy and happy, see you next chapter! Much love<3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I really hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I will try to update as soon as possible- I`ve already started the next chapter. However, senior year is killing me so it might take some time here and there. I`m so hyped for this fic, I love it so much so I really hope it will be just as loved by readers too. Please leave kudos if you liked it and let me know what you think in the comments! See you next chapter!=)


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